Being kind to ourselves is not just a thought or an immaterial feeling that can change nothing. When we are kind to ourselves, the green system kicks in. One important step in this process is the release of oxytocin. Increased oxytocin levels are associated with feelings of confidence, calm, security, generosity, connectedness, and make it easier to feel compassion for ourselves. Oxytocin reduces red system functioning, so our anxiety is relieved, our blood pressure is lowered, and the increase in stress-related adrenaline and cortisol concentrations in our bodies is reduced.
Our brains cannot distinguish between what is in our imagination and what is in the outside world. Therefore, when we recall memories of caring, our green system kicks in and our oxytocin production is triggered, just as if we were experiencing caring in the here and now. This is what happens when we recall a memory of being cared for or caring for others. And even when we imagine any of these in the future.
It's not just our imagination that can help us to turn on our green system and get our oxytocin production going. Our skin is a very sensitive organ, and physical touch releases oxytocin, gives a sense of security, reduces distress and stress in the vascular system.

Tender touches on our face, chest, belly, arms, or hugging ourselves help to stimulate kindness towards ourselves.
Listening to a gentle tone of voice, and speaking gently to others or to ourselves, also helps to activate our green system.
When we show kindness to ourselves, we no longer identify with pain. We are both the one who suffers and the one who gives relief from suffering. In this way we can experience that we are more than the one who suffers. We add another component to the present moment: reassurance. This moment is no longer as difficult as the previous one.
This experience is part of the paradox discussed in the previous posts. In the process of practising self-compassion, it slowly becomes natural for us to have several conflicting thoughts, emotions and sensations in our body at the same time. We can taste the balance of these. We become aware of something in a whole new experience that opens up new ways of being human. From these experiences emerges an amazing source of strength that enables us to live our lives to the full: to face the difficulties and enjoy the joys of life.

In moments of suffering, we can gently touch our face, belly, arms or place our hands on our heart. We can experiment with the touch that is most comforting. We can smile gently, make a friendly, kind expression. We can observe how such a facial expression affects the rest of our body and our mood.